It’s probably happened to us all at some point, we are suddenly in a relationship and we are not really sure how we got there. You don’t really love them, and you are sure they aren’t the right one for you, but there you are, stuck with them, and it’s difficult to get out. It ends up being nothing but pain and heartache in the long run. You might even end up married to them as it’s hard to get yourself out of the rut of complacency. So, for your own future happiness, you need to learn how not to get stuck in this situation. Here are a few things you can do to try and avoid this situation in the future. These tips all assume you are not presently in a relationship. If you are in a relationship you don’t want to be in, that’s a whole other article.
You can’t change them
First, realize that you can’t change them. They are who they are. You always hear about women trying to change a man and making life hell when they can’t, well that works for men trying to change a woman too. You can’t take a rose and turn it into an orchid. You can’t make them what you want them to be if it is a fundamental part of their character. Realize this and if you can’t accept them for who they are, or it gives you stress even thinking about it, move on.
Be honest
Be honest to yourself and to them. It might be painful in the beginning, but it will be a lot less painful as time goes on. If this is a person that you are considering spending your life with, be honest with them. Let them know who you are. Everyone says they want honesty, but somehow people hide what they think as they are afraid it will upset the person they are going out with. Be upfront and honest. If they are not who you want, then don’t keep dating them. If you enjoy dating them but they are not in your future plans, let them know that you are still on the market but you enjoy them as friends. Don’t say untruths to just make them feel better, as you will end up trapped.
Don’t convenience date
If you start dating a girl and she is the only one you are dating. You will end up calling her for most every time you want to go out. A few months later you will wonder how you got in the relationship and how do you get out. This is called a relationship of convenience. They are there, they are ok, they are convenient. You don’t love them, they don’t fill you with passion, they are just always there. Take a girl out every weekend for a few months and she is going to assume you are her boyfriend whether you like it or no. You are on the path to perdition.
Date 3 people
Always date 3 people, make a point of it. You don’t have to hide it from them either, remember that honesty thing? If you end up not liking one that much, or she doesn’t like that you are dating others, as you have others, you will find it a lot easier to end it. When she goes away, find another to fill the 3rd place. If there are only 2, then you break with one, you are going to be back stuck with convenience dating again. If a girl gives you an ultimatum and you are dating others? You will find it has a much-reduced impact and it makes it much easier to stop dating one. Of course, you have to accept they will date others too, but that’s the breaks. You can keep doing this until you find that you are just interested in one of them, and instead of convenience dating, you are dating because you really love spending time with them. Cream always rises to the top, so you will find the right one for you easier this way.
What if I can’t get a date?
Well my friend, that is a whole other article again. Learn to be more social, put yourself out there, know what women are looking for. If you can’t get a date and manage to get one, don’t treat it like a lifeline. Just because she will date you doesn’t mean she is the right one for you. Sometimes it’s just better to be alone than with the wrong person.
But what if I really like someone?
Awesome, that’s the whole point of dating. You can make valid choices. You will be more desirable to them as you are more of a catch rather than just one that is available. Women settle for what’s available too, you are breathing, warm, good enough, and that is what you want to avoid. When you find the right one, you will find you date others less and less and that you actively want to be in a relationship. Now your only task is to convince her of the same.
Relationships are hard, and most advice out there is how to survive in them, or how to find a girl, but really, the advice we need to also address is how not to get stuck in a relationship you don’t want. It happens every day. Look around, ask your friends, and you will see it. We only want the best of happiness for you, so don’t settle, date at least three, and eventually, the right one will appear. Good luck.
